The Weakness in Strength

I struggle to ask for help. Not the kind of help necessary to move a piece of furniture, but real help. The kind that meets a need. Think about years past, neighborhoods full of close friends helping each other out, meeting for chats on the porch, sipping iced tea as the kids grew up together playing in sprinklers, riding bicycles, getting into trouble. When something happened, the community came together to help, no matter how small the trouble.

Oh, sure there are still communities like this, likely more than we know, but self-sufficiency has become the focus. Especially for those going through emotional struggles. Emotions are scary and talking about them makes one vulnerable. So, it is easier to figure it out than it is to risk being seen as weak. At least that is my attitude.

There are so many reasons I could list that would justify this unwillingness to reach out for help, but what it comes down to is this. I am selfish and untrusting, I am prideful and stubborn, and I don’t want to be looked at as weak.

For years I have dealt with whatever came my way, on my own, without help. Well, that isn’t entirely true, there were times that I leaned on my parents for direction and advice, and I eventually learned to rely at times on the man who I love, but this past year after my dad met my mom in heaven, something changed in me and I became hardened to others. I felt I didn’t need anybody. Not even the Lord, that is not to say I lost my faith, but I stopped leaning on Him.

For those who have survived abusive relationships trust is a hard thing to give. I think we all have stories of trusting and being hurt again – even after we have escaped.

It has been almost twelve years since I finally said enough and escaped the abusive relationship I had endured for over fifteen years. Twelve years of doing it on my own.

But I haven’t been alone. The Lord brought me out of something bad twelve years ago, to prepare me for something far better. Just as He was there for the Israelites as He led them to the Promised land, He has been here with me every moment, lending a hand when I needed it, lifting me up when I’d fallen, and giving me strength to get through the next challenge. He has been my strength and my rock. He is my redeemer and my Lord, and in Him I can trust and find peace.

Love becomes trust when we understand that God has brought us through something bad in order to prepare us for something good. Trust allows us to finally experience that something good.

But He brought us out from there to bring us in and give us the land that He promised on oath to our forefathers. Deuteronomy 6:23


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