My sister’s boyfriend died last night. We are all still processing the senselessness of it and I for one am reeling from the reality of the fragility of life.
Today is September 10th. Tomorrow marks the day that changed the lives of thousands of Americans with the attacks on the world trade centers, the pentagon and flight 93. Today marks the last day they spent with their loved ones.
For my sister the last day she spent with her loved one as a whole person was one that she giddily shared with me just hours before her world changed. Her last day with this man who had become her best friend, her confidant and someone she loves deeply, was a day that she will forever treasure. It is also a day she will forever regret.
Why does God allow such pain? Why does He take the people we love and cherish and hold dear. Why are we left here to feel the emptiness when just hours before our lives were overflowing. Why is there pain?
I know I can come up with all sorts of Scripture to talk about the reasons for suffering are due to sin in the world, due to choices others make who’s consequences have a ripple effect that reach down to even those not connected. I can talk about how the Lord wants us to lean on Him in the rough times and look to Him for comfort. And all of this is true and great advice but when the rubber hits the road, how do we deal with the pain of a loss like this? How do we cross over from the shock, to the pain, to acceptance to finding peace again?
I have heard the statement – the pain never leaves you, it becomes a part of you. Frequently and it is true. I miss my mom, every single day I think about her and I feel an emptiness. That isn’t to say there are no good memories or positive thoughts it is to say that I miss her and that pain, that emptiness has become a part of me.
My sister will heal from this shock. She will move on and she will continue to live her life, my prayer and my concern is that she be able to love again. That she finds someone she can trust again and give her all to and believe in. My fear for my sister is that she will choose to be alone rather than face the possibility of pain again.
When the pain of loss becomes a part of you it is a blessing that you loved deeply enough to carry that love forever within your heart.