As I have been going through this journey of refocusing my life on the Lord and what my responsibilities are as a child of the Most High I have been seeking understanding.
Sunday, while speaking with a new friend she asked me what my prayer life was like. My first response was to tell her how each day I start the day with prayer and throughout the day I have moments or circumstances that lead me to pray. But then with great despair I realized something, for the past months, and up until the last few weeks prayer had become a non-thing for me. I guess it was back in early November the last time I remember having a long prayer time with my Savior. For as long as I can remember, even in my relationship, for over a year, we would start almost every day with prayer, and because of that connection the attitude of prayer continued even into the day. I used to pray every day, sometimes multiple times in a day. Sometimes to seek His guidance, sometimes to call out for someone else, sometimes I would just talk to the Lord about my children and specifically the man I saw my future with. Sometimes I would just call out his name and pause in silence. That isn’t to say I haven’t spoken with the Lord since November, I have, but just differently.
But the last few months I had begun to focus more on dealing with some emotional things on my own and not leaning on the Lord for His strength. I began leaning on groups, and counsel and reading. I lost focus on prayer and didn’t prioritize that connection with my Lord.
Sure, I still went to church still prayed over dinner, still went through the motions, but the connection changed and it was due to a decrease in my prayer life.
Prayer is key to our relationship with the Lord. When we stop praying, really praying, our priorities change. But He won’t leave us out there, He always gives us that desire to return to Him. How great it feels to be back in communication with the Lord now. What a comfort that connection is when I feel alone and broken.
We have a better understanding of His story when we seek connection with Him.