Groundless guilt is a huge relationship barrier that can cause feelings of resentment, anger, frustration and hurt for no reason.
What is unrealistic guilt? It is that guilt that you automatically feel when you have done nothing wrong but you are so trained to feel like you are wrong that as soon as a comment is made or a question is asked your heart races a little bit and your thoughts quickly run through the past hours or days to see if there is something you have done to warrant a questioning.
How do you get past these feelings? How do you transition from constantly defending yourself and your totally up and up actions to recognizing that those feelings are a trained reaction and not a true reality.
Honesty and trust are the foundational pillars of a strong relationship. As you and your partner grow together there are areas of trust that need to be built. Not rebuilt, but built for the first time. We have to allow ourselves the freedom to be confident in our integrity and not assume that there is mistrust. Relationships are a growing process and if you remember the growing pains of your youth you remember that growing can be uncomfortable but it is a highly necessary part of maturity.
Next time your significant other asks a question or wants to discuss something that is bothering them, suppress the surge of reactive guilt feelings and listen, it just might help both of you to understand each other a little better.