Holding so Much Inside

if you have ever had one of those times when you’ve clutched a pen or poised your fingers over the keyboard for a long time while lost in trying to collect your thoughts clearly enough to write them down, only to look down at your hands and be surprised that you are still holding that pen or ready over the keyboard long after you have given up trying to organize your thoughts, you understand what it is to get so tied up in trying to say things carefully and right, that you don’t actually say what you need to say and you are left holding all the thoughts and feelings inside never to express your own needs, never to say what you need to say, only to die alone.

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