One year ago today he asked me to marry him. One year ago, he got down on his knee and said he wanted the promise of a lifetime together with me. I said yes. One year ago he made my heart soar.
Three weeks ago today he told me he no longer wanted that promise. Three weeks ago he told me that he no longer wanted me to plan on being his wife. Three weeks ago he broke my heart.
A lot has happened since September tenth, but today I realized just how much it still hurts. Today I have been hit again with the reality that even though he has changed his mind, in September he did not want to look at a future with me. He broke off the engagement and left me reeling.
I know we are still looking toward a possible future, but the promise is gone. The unwavering commitment has been severed. I am struggling today to reconcile it all and no matter how I run the numbers, I can’t seem to make sense of it.
Today I am hurting and I am angry. Today I am frustrated and I am broken. Today I just want to cry and give up hope.
Maybe tomorrow will be better.