Window Shades

Have you ever looked into the eyes of love, have you ever looked into the window of happiness and for a brief moment in time felt the shear joy and peace that comes from being where you feel you belong – And then the shades are drawn and your reflection shows the reality of your loneliness. […]


Always…. A promise so deep within that single word. I’ll love you till the end…. Always I’ll love you till the sun burns out…. Always A friend…. Always A hope… Always A dream.. Always Alone. Always Please follow and like us:

Safety Behind the Walls

I find myself sitting here today lamenting a life that never was, a hope that was left in disappointment and a dream that will never be fulfilled. Did I ever have the opportunity to achieve these things or have I always been doomed to the life I have now. I know I sound depressed and […]

Broken Dreams to Come

I remember the mornings once so silent and hopeful, the book of my life full of promise. I’ll probably never have it all figured out… still the pages continue to turn and the chapters are ending one after the next.. and I wait for a promise that is but another broken dream to come. Please follow […]


Emptiness Sometimes it is so hard to conceal that this is how I really feel Tears of sadness the sting of pain every day its ever the same. Aloneness A feeling that seems to never end I look for comfort in the arms of my friend I look around to find my friend Helplessness Sleepless […]

Pieces by Sum 41

I tried to be perfect, But nothing was worth it, I don’t believe it makes me real. I thought it’d be easy, But no one believes me, I meant all the things I said. If you believe it’s in my soul I’d say all the words that I know Just to see if it would […]

The Lonely Breakdown

Sleep is becoming more and more difficult again. My mind is racing and my heart is hurting. My heart is beating erratically. It’s actually starting to concern me a bit. The sad thing is I can feel my heart, no, sad is not the word. I can’t really find the word so I guess it […]

Broken Dreams

It was a lifetime ago, another age another day, a time when hopes and dreams were new and hearts had been broken but not yet shattered. Smiles and laughter filled the small home, nestled midst farms in this rural town. Three young children living a carefree life. Things had been hard for quite some time; […]

Hidden Pain

Nobody sees me cry, nobody knows my pain I know that I’m not alone I’m just lost here in the rain. I gave my all to futility I gave my all to love And here I am alone again… alone. Please follow and like us:

God Has A Perfect Plan

This weekend has been one that has been full of ups and downs, fear, anger, joy, comfort, and finally peace as God pulled everything together for us. How is it that so often we take for granted that God has a perfect plan. We don’t know the outcome, we don’t know what is to come […]

Playing Pretend

So here I sit again alone in an empty house with an empty heart an empty home and an empty life. There is no end in sight there is no relief in any direction. I have moments of feigned happiness, images of a life worth living, but then its all gone again. The reality of […]

Don’t Look The Other Way

I am a parent. I love my children, I want what is best for my children. I want to know what is going on in all of their lives, I want to know they are happy, they are trying, they are achieving and they are growing. I want to know their strengths, their weaknesses, I […]

A Great Day

Yesterday was the best day I have had in such a long time. It started with a trip to the city for a gift. Then meeting with friends. But the best part came that eve when the kids and I went to get our Christmas tree. On the way to the tree farm the conversation centered […]

Never Again

Pain, never in a million years did I think that the pain would be this bad. Before there was hope of a future. That is no more. It’s gone. Why does it hurt so badly. Why can’t I let go of this. I walked away with no promise of return. I’m so ripped up and […]

Tiny Cracks of My Heart

I was afraid to care again, but I did I was afraid I’d feel the hurt again, and I did I was afraid my heart couldn’t take the pain, and it can’t. I know it seems like I’m this strong woman who can get through whatever life throws at me but inside I am very […]

Have You Ever

Have you ever given all your heart have you ever poured your soul into the one you love have you ever given and given and found joy in doing so have you ever felt discouraged have you ever felt pain have you ever realized that no matter how much you give it will always bring […]

The Cliffs Edge

As I sat perched on the edge of the cliff unsure what lay ahead, uncertain if I had the strength to overcome this next hurdle myself I found a friend who would hold me up, support me and be the anchor for my rope. Slowly I began my decent the top of the cliff not as steep […]


Out of the blue during Bible study it was presented to me that “you would do well to talk with someone.” Those words hit me like a train. I had begun to feel normal and like I am not messed up. My facade is not as solid as I had thought. They don’t know me! […]

Not a Care

The pain inside like a searing knife and he doesn’t care no he doesn’t care This hurt he caused has crushed my life and he doesn’t care  no he doesn’t care Please follow and like us:

Long Way to Happy

“Long Way To Happy” One night to you Lasted six weeks for me Just a bitter little pill now Just to try to go to sleep No more waking up to innocence Say hello to hesitance To everyone I meet Thanks to you years ago I guess I’ll never know What love means to me […]

A Fear Awakened

I am afraid. What am I afraid of? I am not 100% sure. I just know that the thought of him moving here has awakened within me a fear of what was. Please follow and like us:

The Fire

Imagine this…….. you are in a burning house. The walls are on fire…. beams are falling down around you. The heat is almost unbearable and every breath is a choked gasp. At the last possible minute, you find a way out of the flames and into the cool night air, where your family is there […]

Confusion and Fear

What is wrong with me? Am I really considering going back into that hell? He told me his intention was to see how far he could push me before I snapped and I snapped. I know the evil that lies in his heart yet I am sitting here wondering if he has changed. What is […]

Allowing Anger

I am still angry. I know this attitude is wrong and I am trying to work through it so please be patient with me. I need to feel. I have spent so many years not really feeling. Years closed off to my emotions and hiding my pain and now it is coming out in torrents, […]

A Bitter heart

I heard my voice today, it was filled with bitterness and anger. I look back over the past few months and I have gone from fear to horrible sadness. Now I am angry. I am angry for all the time that was put into a marriage that was hopeless from the onset. I am angry […]

A Lonely Heart

I am not sure why I am writing here and maybe this won’t go anywhere. Maybe I will write a post or two and realize that I have nothing to say and stop writing. Maybe I won’t, maybe writing will bring some peace. Maybe getting out some of what is trapped inside me will relieve […]